Lukashenka Is Already At Logging Site

The Lost Labor Artel.

If I were Lukashenka, I would hide in one of the residences for the coming months and sit there quietly until the next (I don't remember the number) inauguration. And let there, outside the walls, employees of Bakery No4, kindergarten teachers, midwives and advanced crews of concrete mixers record videos with cries of "need!" and shout with big smiles: "Do not let me down, my dear father, we cannot live without you!". Let them destroy the entire information space, and Lukashenka would have the opportunity to sit quietly drinking tea for several months: watching TV, sending couriers for medicines to the pharmacy, ordering pizza and watching hockey with Kachanava, who is sitting and knitting in a corner.

But Lukashenka still does not understand what happiness is. He, like all recent years, is afraid that the people will think that he is completely sick and bad. He is doing his best to get on TV pretending to be cheerful. I do not know what stimulants he is pumped with before each exit to the street, but the spectacle turns out to be unconvincing. Because people have long gotten evil, they are not ready to forget and forgive, they crave revenge and closely follow every step and gesture of the impostor in search of weakness and infirmity. By the way, it is not especially necessary to follow – just once or twice throw a lazy look at the monitor or screen when someone broadcasts official events there. And no matter how many times Lukashenka puts on a sports uniform, skates and skis specifically for photo shoots, the evil gaze of the Belarusian people instantly notes everything. For example, he could not go up to the second floor at the CIS summit, but took the elevator, although his comrades actively jumped across the stairs, also not being young. The eternal Tajik leader Rahmon is several years older, Tokayev is older, Putin is the same age, but everyone goes up on their own. Up the stairs, and across the Red Square. And only Lukashenka goes to the second floor by elevator, and on the square he rides by an electric car, because he has no strength to walk. And how can a photo in sportive sweatpants deceive someone?

Of course it can't. Therefore, you need to make a couple of movements with your hands or feet from time to time, imitating physical activity. And not in an open field, so as not to look like an idiot, but among people. Of course, among proven and reliable, that is, propagandists. They are familiar, they will not betray themselves, they will not laugh loudly. Probably, it was for this purpose that the championship in the stake of firewood for propagandists was invented – so that Lukashenka could pick up an axe and hold it for several seconds. Then he must say the right words that every peasant should be able to chop wood, and every woman should look for only one who chops them non-stop and with pleasure. And that's all, he can relax on the hemp, while the propagandists will create a picture of a fun mass holiday – to chop and cut wood and to make fire by friction. Especially for women – a competition for chopping firewood with a frying pan (this is not my fantasy, in their wooden world, propagandists were really forced to chop firewood with a frying pan).

By the way, this championship was invented exactly when Lukashenka began to stagger, lose his balance and consciousness, and persistent rumors about his illness appeared among the people, which still receive only numerous confirmations instead of refutations. The first chop of firewood took place in 2022, and since then everyone has adapted: they cut logs for Lukashenka in advance, so he only has a little touch left – and the deck geometrically accurately scatters into the right number of logs. The extras teach and rehearse in advance the replicas that accompany the process of approaching the chief with an axe to a specially prepared log in order to hiccup, whistle, scream and enthusiastically write: "This is a real master class, thank you!". The apprentices vigilantly make sure that a random unclogged log does not fall within the range of the axe. The goal is simple: Belarusians should see it and say something like "he's still quite able!". But it turns out to be the Lost Labor Artel - the Belarusians do not believe.

However, there is something useful in this: it is better to prepare for work at a logging site in advance.

Iryna Khalip, especially for Charter97.org

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