LuCalendar

Living by Lukashenka's schedule is the last thing you want to do.

More and more often, it seems that many Belarusians have become so accustomed to the dictatorship and have secretly come to love it that even in exile they build their lives, their schedules and their plans exclusively taking into account Lukashenka’s wishes. They adapt, change their schedules, postpone trips and vacations solely in order to be involved on the day when he announces or celebrates something. Lukashenka said “on Sunday” — that means on Sunday. We drop everything and run under the banners so as not to offend him with our inattention.

I am surprised to read the announcements of a large meeting under the clumsy “trasyanka” title. Let’s say there is a vocabulary mistake in it, we do not construct sentences in the Belarusian language this way. Let’s not be petty though, okay, everyone is not without sin. I look — aha, the same faces who will be showing a souvenir passport for 97 euros from the podium as the result of their five years of vigorous activity and offering everyone who wants to hand over biometric data, copies of all documents and money in the next room. It is better to pay in cash, there is no change, sorry.

But the point is not even in presenting the souvenir — no one would gather a bunch of people for this. The point is to fit into the schedule of dear Mr. Lukashenka — since he has arranged an event for himself on this day, it means that we need to make an appearance, not let the leader down, not spoil his holiday. Let him see how emigrants are gathering in Warsaw for a forum in honor of his reappointment, and rejoice: “I am still the most important for them! They do not forget, do not stray from the herd. They remember who they are obliged to.” And a souvenir worth almost a hundred euros as another relatively honest way of taking money from Belarusians will add to his good mood, smiles and playfulness for the whole day.

Three years ago, in February, on the day when Lukashenka held another referendum for his own amusement (nobody will remember what was written there), the same office people held a big press conference in Vilnius, where they talked about the creation of a transitional cabinet and persistently suggested going to the polling stations and then writing on the Golos platform. Those who were careless enough to get involved with all these chat bots, “pera-mogas” and other imitations of vigorous activity, which for some became a report for donors, for others — a criminal charge and a sentence, were already sitting in prison. However, the task was completely different. No one was going to deliberately set up Belarusians — this is just an accompanying thoughtlessness associated with limited intellectual functionality. But the main thing was to simply check in on that very day: Mr. Lukashenka, we are here; you are still our ruler; we check our every step to go along your schedule; we open your official website every morning so as not to deviate from the agenda and not to miss something important.

I can still understand, for example, Latushka — he is a nomenklatura man, he remained subordinate to Lukashenka and is used to doing only what the boss tells him to do. This is his fate. But those who were not in the nomenklatura, who have not been in the civil service for decades, who have not raised their hands in a unanimous “for!” — what do they care about Lukashenka's work schedule? I have no other explanations, except for their secret admiration for the dictatorship.

And if Lukashenka declares a national holiday on Sunday with buffets, accordionists and cheap booze in school cafeterias, it means that in Warsaw there will also be songs and dances, a concert and a buffet. No one will deviate from the schedule, no one will sabotage, no one will remember that, in fact, for Belarusians living outside Lukashenka, who have driven him out of their lives with a filthy broom, this is an ordinary Sunday. Perhaps the only day off in the week.

Personally, Lukashenka interests me only in one aspect. Physiological. Does he walk on his own or does he lean on a security guard? Can he climb one flight of stairs on his own or does he call the elevator? And if he can't, well done, keep it up, don't let us down, I approve.

Iryna Khalip, exclusively for Charter97.org

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